The Gospel and Conflict: Loving Through the Tension

In John 13:34-35, Jesus gives His disciples a new commandment:

"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this, everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

This passage is simple in its instruction but profound in its application—especially when life brings us into conflict. Whether it’s a disagreement with a friend, tension within a family, or struggles in a community, Jesus’ words call us to something higher than our natural responses. They call us to love, even in the midst of conflict.

Conflict Is Inevitable

In a broken world, conflict is an inevitable part of life. Even among Jesus' own disciples, there were moments of tension, misunderstanding, and disagreement. The gospel doesn’t promise a conflict-free life; rather, it equips us to navigate these moments in a way that reflects Christ.

Conflict reveals our humanity—it exposes our fears, pride, and insecurities. Yet it also offers us a unique opportunity to live out the gospel. When approached with a heart of love, conflict can become a space for growth, reconciliation, and a deeper understanding of God’s grace.

The Gospel Is Our Guide

In the midst of conflict, the gospel reminds us of two key truths:

  1. We are forgiven.
    At the heart of the gospel is God’s forgiveness through Jesus Christ. When we remember how much we’ve been forgiven, it humbles us. It softens our hearts and reminds us that we, too, need grace. This perspective enables us to approach conflict with humility, rather than with an attitude of self-righteousness or blame.

  2. We are called to love.
    Jesus’ command in John 13 doesn’t come with a caveat. He doesn’t say, “Love one another when it’s easy” or “Love one another when you agree.” He says, “As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” Jesus loved us while we were still sinners. He loved us in our mess, our rebellion, and our brokenness. That’s the standard of love we’re called to extend, even in conflict.

Loving Through the Tension

So, how do we live out this gospel-centered love when conflict arises?

  1. Listen with empathy.
    Love starts with understanding. Often, conflict escalates because we’re more focused on proving a point than truly hearing the other person. Take the time to listen—not just to respond, but to understand their perspective and emotions.

  2. Speak truth with grace.
    The gospel doesn’t shy away from truth, but it always delivers it with grace. In conflict, we’re called to speak honestly but lovingly. Avoid harsh words or accusations. Instead, let your words be seasoned with kindness, even when addressing difficult issues.

  3. Pursue peace.
    Romans 12:18 says, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” While not every conflict will result in perfect resolution, we are responsible for doing our part to seek peace. This may mean apologizing, offering forgiveness, or even agreeing to disagree while maintaining love and respect.

  4. Rely on God’s strength.
    Loving others through conflict isn’t easy. It requires supernatural strength and patience. Pray for God to work in your heart and the hearts of those involved. Trust Him to bring healing and resolution in His timing.

A Testimony of Love

Jesus said that our love for one another is the defining mark of His disciples. This kind of love is most visible not when everything is smooth, but when relationships are tested. How we handle conflict speaks volumes to the watching world.

When we choose to love through the tension, we reflect the heart of Jesus. We demonstrate that His love is real, powerful, and transformative. In doing so, we not only honor God but also offer hope to those around us.

Conclusion

Conflict is unavoidable, but as followers of Christ, we are called to respond differently. Through the power of the gospel, we can navigate disagreements with grace, humility, and love. In doing so, we turn moments of tension into opportunities to shine the light of Christ in a divided world.

So, the next time conflict arises, ask yourself: How can I reflect Jesus’ love in this situation? Let the gospel be your guide, and trust that God can use even the hardest moments for His glory.